Bring out the Hellman's Craven Proof Garlic Aioli, and Bring Out the... Best?
"Bring Out The Hellmann's, and Bring Out the Best." You've undoubtedly heard the jingle for the mayonnaise many times through the years (unless you live west of the Rockies where it's "Bring Out the Best Foods..." because the mayonnaise goes by a different brand name out west). You can put Hellmann's mayonnaise in or on practically anything and it will taste better. Slather it on your sandwiches - turkey, chicken, bacon, roast beef, etc. You can't make tuna salad or egg salad without it. Potato salad? Of course. It is essential to your coleslaw. Many of your dressings, dips and spreads use it. It's the main ingredient in tartar sauce. Many people put mayonnaise on tofu, though I would prefer the tofu-mayonnaise combo without the tofu. But for all it's many uses, here's one you probably haven't tried. Who would put mayonnaise on books? The answer - the people at Hellmann's. Are there no limits to the concoctions people can devise to sell their products? Evidently not for the people at Hellmann's.
Hellmann's makes a product called Garlic Aioli. Aioli is similar to mayonnaise and may be made with it. They would probably call it garlic mayonnaise if "aioli" weren't a classier sounding name. You can put it on lots of things, but seriously, you shouldn't put it on your books. Now you don't have to. Hellmann's will do it for you. This is not to say they will special print any book you want and infuse it with garlic aioli, nor that they have a wide range of books so produced. It is just one title, Jennifer L. Armentrout's The Primal of Blood and Bone. There is a reason they selected this one.
The Primal of Blood and Bone is a fantasy (I hope). It deals with cravens, with features similar to vampires, that is, they drink human blood. At least that's what I think they do. I'm not not tuned in to this sort of book. I like nonfiction. While this may not be true of all cravens, the ones in Armentrout's books are repelled by garlic. In this way they are similar to humans if you eat too much garlic. What all this means is if you infuse your books with garlic aoili, it should keep the cravens away. I think this is true. If you keep a copy of this book in your house, you are almost certainly not going to be invaded by cravens. It's possible you won't be anyway, but it does make good sense to take every precaution. The downside is too great to take a risk. Publisher Blue Box Press undoubtedly recommends taking this precaution.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Autograph Letter Signed ("Martinus Luther") to His Friend the Theologian Gerhard Wiskamp ("Gerardo Xantho Lampadario"). $100,000 - $150,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: An Exceptionally Fine Copy of Austenís Emma: A Novel in Three Volumes. $40,000 - $60,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Presentation Copy of Ernest Hemmingwayís A Farewell to Arms for Edward Titus of the Black Mankin Press. $30,000 - $50,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Autograph Manuscript Signed Integrally for "The Songs of Pooh," by Alan Alexander. $30,000 - $50,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Autograph Manuscript of "Three Fragments from Gˆtterd‰mmerung" by Richard Wagner. $30,000 - $50,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Original Preliminary Artwork, for the First Edition of Snow Crash. $20,000 - $30,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Autograph Letter Signed ("T.R. Malthus") to Economist Nassau Senior on Wealth, Labor and Adam Smith. $20,000 - $30,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides Finely Bound by Michael Wilcox. $20,000 - $30,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: First Edition of Lewis and Clark: Travels to the Source of the Missouri River and Across the American Continent to the Pacific Ocean. $8,000 - $12,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Original Artwork for the First Edition of Neal Stephenson's Groundbreaking Novel Snow Crash. $100,000 - $150,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: A Complete Set Signed Deluxe Editions of King's The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King. $8,000 - $12,000.
Bonhams, Dec. 8-18: Autograph Letter Signed ("John Adams") to James Le Ray de Chaumont During the Crucial Years of the Revolutionary War. $8,000 - $12,000.
Sotheby’s Book Week December 9-17, 2025
Sotheby’s, Dec. 17: Francesco Colonna. Hypnerotomachie, Paris, 1546, Parisian calf by Wotton Binder C for Marcus Fugger. €200,000 to €300,000.
Sotheby’s, Dec. 17: Nausea. De principiis dialectices Gorgias, and other works, Venice, 1523, morocco gilt for Cardinal Campeggio. €3,000 to €4,000.
Sotheby’s, Dec. 17: Billon. Le fort inexpugnable de l'honneur, Paris, 1555, Parisian calf gilt for Peter Ernst, Graf von Mansfeld. €120,000 to €180,000.
Sotheby’s Book Week December 9-17, 2025
Sotheby’s, Dec. 16: Salinger, J.D. The Graham Family archive, including autographed letters, an inscribed Catcher, a rare studio photograph of the author, and more. $120,000 to $180,000.
Sotheby’s, Dec. 16: [Austen, Jane]. A handsome first edition of Sense and Sensibility, the author's first novel. $60,000 to $80,000.
Sotheby’s, Dec. 16: Massachusetts General Court. A powerful precursor to the Declaration of Independence: "every Act of Government … without the Consent of the People, is … Tyranny." $40,000 to $60,000.
Heritage Auctions Rare Books Signature Auction December 15, 2025
Heritage, Dec. 15: John Donne. Poems, By J. D. With Elegies on the Author's Death. London: M[iles]. F[lesher]. for John Marriot, 1633.
Heritage, Dec. 15: Edgar Rice Burroughs. Tarzan of the Apes.
Heritage, Dec. 15: F. Scott Fitzgerald. Tender is the Night. A Romance.
Heritage, Dec. 15: Jerry Thomas. How to Mix Drinks, or the Bon-Vivant's Companion, Containing Clear and Reliable Directions for Mixing All the Beverages Used in the United States…
![<b>Sotheby’s, Dec. 16:</b> [Austen, Jane]. A handsome first edition of <i>Sense and Sensibility,</i> the author's first novel. $60,000 to $80,000.](https://ae-files.s3.amazonaws.com/AdvertisementPhotos/9a74d9ff-42dd-46a1-8bb2-b636c4cec796.png "<b>Sotheby’s, Dec. 16:</b> [Austen, Jane]. A handsome first edition of <i>Sense and Sensibility,</i> the author's first novel. $60,000 to $80,000.")
![<b>Heritage, Dec. 15:</b> John Donne. <i>Poems, By J. D. With Elegies on the Author's Death.</i> London: M[iles]. F[lesher]. for John Marriot, 1633.](https://ae-files.s3.amazonaws.com/AdvertisementPhotos/8caddaea-4c1f-47a7-9455-62f53af36e3f.jpg "<b>Heritage, Dec. 15:</b> John Donne. <i>Poems, By J. D. With Elegies on the Author's Death.</i> London: M[iles]. F[lesher]. for John Marriot, 1633.")
