Is it not the dream of readers and everyone else connected to books to someday be an author yourself? Well, the other day, the opportunity came to me in an email, tucked away in my spam folder. A firm called Book Writing told me they believe in my ideas and are ready to help me turn them into reality. Indeed, they explained, "It was this very thought that got things going for popular figures like Thomas Edison, Mark Twain, Stephen King, Bill Gates and J. K. Rowling." Who would not want to write like Twain, or be as rich as Bill Gates? As anyone reading this article can tell, I am no writer, but soon I can be the next King or Rowling. Maybe.

 

Here is what they offer – ghostwriters. "As told to," except they don't even add their name. They do the work, you get the credit. Maybe this is how King and Rowling do it? I guess we'll never know for sure. They say they have a "statured client list."

 

If you have some sort of a draft, they will use that, but it isn't necessary. Ideas are sufficient. Just tell them your ideas and they will turn them into a book, in your name. You get to keep all the profits yourself. That is one heck of a deal. After all, Rowling is said to be worth almost a billion dollars, but how much more could it have been if she didn't have to share so much of it with her publisher?

 

The nice thing is you don't need to have any knowledge or skills about book writing or publishing whatsoever. They will do it all. They provide, "All-in-one packages; from drafting, writing, and formatting to proof-reading and publishing along with our cover designing services."

 

What type of writers do they have? Every kind. They will write memoirs, autobiographies, fiction, nonfiction, and business books. There are further breakdowns within categories. For example, when it comes to fiction, they will write novels, novellas, screenplays, short stories, novelettes, plays, fictions, even poetry. Tell them you like springtime and flowers and chirping birds and in no time you will be a poet. What genres can their multi-talented writers produce? Here they are: drama, mythology, mystery, fantasy, romance, horror, science fiction, tragedy, thriller, comedy, humor, satire, and tragicomedy. They can handle structure, plot, story line, themes, character development, tone, language, style, dialogues, transitions, and climax.

 

Among all the positives, here is the one that sold me: "Our writers our [sic] Literature majors and we assure you not many know Marlow, Shakespeare and Sophocles that well. Whether its Greek Tragedy or Roman Comedy, they write plays that absolutely rivet the audience to their chairs." I certainly don't want to sound elitist like Shakespeare, with all his fancy language. Give me a writer of the people, someone who doesn't know the difference between "are" and "our." And don't forget, they also provide skilled proofreaders.